`Til death do we part – and what it costs
By Herb Drill
I thought Moonstruck was a very good movie - entertaining, and funny. Yet, if you looked beyond the comic antics of Nicolas Gage and Cher, you heard some very serious commentary.
To wit: Cher’s mother, played perfectly by Olivia Dukakis, has dinner with the presumptuous professor played by John Mahoney, the Manchester, England native who has played the pragmatic ex-cop father of fusty radio psychiatrist Frasier Crane on the hit TV series “Frazier.” She asks him:
“Why do men cheat” on their wives? He doesn’t have a good response. She answers for him: “I think they fear death.”
That’s a very wry observation, don’t you think? It fits with the arrival of a new book: The Survivor's Guide: What You Need to Know and What You Need to Do When Someone Close to You Dies (Silver Lake Publishing) isn’t light reading. It’s not legal drama such as The Firm from John Grisham or even weird stuff a la >From a Buick Eight by Stephen King.
Author V.K. Thornton’s book relates how the financial services sector has become a “do-it-yourself marketplace,” and the point where it hits people hardest is in dealing with “worldly matters after a loved one dies.” Thornton tries to bring his background in human resources and financial education to an extremely emotional issue. She gives vulnerable people easy-to-use tools for avoiding, or dealing with, crooks and crooked businesses.
Ms. Thornton holds a master’s degree in journalism from Syracuse University and has written on consumer advocacy - from cars to savings accounts – for more than a decade. Silver Lake Publishing is an independent, Los Angeles-based house specializing in personal finance, consumer protection
and popular economics topics (3501 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90026,
www.silverlakepub.com, or 1-323-663-3082, toll-free 1-888-663-3091, fax 1-323-663-3084.
The author begins with this observation: “Funerals cost an average of $6,200 - but you can get one for free, if you know what to do.”
She cautions that “nothing prepares you for the death of a loved one. When the time comes, in addition to dealing with doctors, lawyers, and grief, you may not be of a mind to choose a funeral director and make still more decisions. While you may feel it’s `not the time to quibble over nickels and dimes,’ these are decisions which can cost your family thousands of dollars unnecessarily, [affecting] you financially for years to come.”
She maintains that funerals are among the “most expensive purchases consumers make, according to the Federal Trade Commission. A traditional funeral costs about $6,200, but the final tally many run well over $20,000. For decades, consumer organizations have complained about the high price of funerals and industry fraud, some of the worst examples have made gruesome headlines in recent years. In her book, she attempts to uncloak reasons for “outrageously inflated prices and why state and federal regulatory efforts have failed. Exposing funeral industry abuses isn’t enough. Consumers [must] educate themselves and supervise closely how their dollars are spent.”
Ms. Thornton emphasizes “funeral” excludes the “disposition,”
which
includes burial or cremation; purchase of a plot; opening and closing the grave or vault, and purchase and placement of a headstone or plaque - all of which can easily cost another $5,000 to $20,000. She maintains that “within the industry, `funeral’ refers only to the `service,’ which legally, ethically, and in keeping with religious tradition can be handled easily by survivors, without a funeral director.
Also, she explains how emotionally vulnerable consumers can save money and have a more meaningful service by not surrendering the decision-making to a seemingly well-intentioned funeral director, who may be intent on selling more than is needed or wanted under the guise of `tradition’ or `legal
Requirements’. Even the savviest of shoppers can be taken in by tricks of the trade, such as playing on someone’s guilt or fear of appearing cheap.
`Doesn’t your mother deserve the best?’ can be a very emotional appeal in a very weak moment.”
The author enumerates other “sales techniques,” to name a few,
include: failure to present less expensive options as required by the Federal Trade Commission; marking merchandise up 300-500%; misleading consumers concerning legal requirements; and switching merchandise or services which were paid for with cheaper substitutions.
In a straight-forward manner, the book answers many questions and offers this sage advice: “Make it clear you know your rights and the FTC ’s regulations. Let the funeral director know you are there to buy a funeral and not to be sold one.”