Oh, my aging funny bone
This is from J. Oppenheimer (www.seniorresource.com/jokes.htm)
I thought I would reassure you that after retirement there are ways to cut corners and survive.
With the average cost for a nursing home per day reaching $188, there’s a better way when we get old and feeble. I’ve ascertained I can get a nice room at the Holiday Inn for around $65. That leaves $123 a day for beer, food (room service), laundry, gratuities, and special TV movies. They have a swimming pool, workout room, lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
Super 8 is somewhat more economical and they have a free breakfast, though you usually have to walk next door for lunch and dinner.
There may be a bit of a wait to get that first floor room, but that's OK, it takes months to get into decent nursing homes. There’s the senior bus, the handicap bus (if you fake a decent limp), a church bus or van, cabs, and
even a regular bus. For a change of lunch, take the airport bus and eat at
one of the fast-food cafes there.
The Inn has security, and if someone sees me drop over, they’ll call an
ambulance. Should I break a hip, pick one of those attorneys seen on TV and sue. What more can I ask?
As a bonus, most motels give senior discounts. So, when I reach the golden age, help me keep my grin. Just check me into the nearest Holiday Inn!