I'm certain that most of us, at one time or another, have sought tech support .............and been left gnashing our collective teeth! Here, courtesy of the tech support side!
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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No ... wait a minute ... I hadn't inserted it yet ...
it's still on my desk ... sorry ...
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the
screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello ... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
Bill Gates, damn it!
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha. I can't print. Every
time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and
placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he
can't find it ...
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Customer : I have problems printing in red ...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah ................. thank you.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
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Customer : My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No, I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK.
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that one does work.
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a", as in apple;
a capital letter "V",as in Victor and the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry ... Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver
on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer : Well, I have the letter "a" in the address, but how do I
get the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with
her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window
and his printer is working fine."
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And my personal favorite :
Tech support: "Okay, Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now
type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!